Ireceived this blog post from a friend, with the title “Girls who Stay Single for Large Periods of Time End up the Happiest”, I was immediately hooked. When I wanted to check who wrote it, OMG, I found many bloggers and writers have written articles with the same or similar titles. Two struck me for how similar they were, but I want to share with you what it is like and why Girls who Stay Single for Large Periods of Time are Happy, but with a twist, I will be talking about girls from the Middle Eastern and Arab cultures.
We are happy because we have taken all the time we need to grow our perspective about life, despite the nagging of some relatives, our mothers, or society in general, to get married, where they continuously remind us how we can’t be whole without tying the knot. We hear their comments whenever we are invited to a wedding, something like “hopefully soon we will be happy for you too”, or here is a better one “when shall we see you as a bride?”, which assumes you have psychic abilities to predict the future.
We are happy because, during this time with ourselves, we were able to acquire experience, that otherwise would’ve been contained within our marital obligations and duties put upon us by family and society.
Being single allowed us to go out, get a job (given the low female employment rate in many Arab countries), and we earned money, which gives us great power to control our fate, by being financially independent. A power that, even if we get married, we will carry and pass to our daughters.
Perhaps talking about the issue of money might seem shallow and too materialistic for some. But, if you look closely, how awful some women might feel having to rely on their husbands to buy them their essential needs, especially if you end up with a cheap, over the top thrifty man, and worse if he considers what you are asking for unnecessary and so you should not buy it to begin with. Not to mention having to put up with the ever ongoing social pressure by the husband‘s family to bring a male heir (that is if she was unlucky, I don’t believe all in-laws are awful).
Perhaps few know how much we, as single ladies out there, are influential. This is the best time to be single in the Arab world, with the ever-growing economical challenges facing the region. Being single gives us the opportunity to build and invest for ourselves, as in many families, the females or daughters are not obliged to financially contribute to the family’s household, unless she wants to, given this, she will not have to pay rent, nor bills, Can it get any better?
We are happy because, when we wake up in the morning, we have the morning for us, we enjoy a cup of coffee, no kids to rush to school, we don’t have to worry about searching for the right school with the suitable tuition. Our bodies didn’t go through the agonies of pregnancies, nor the pains of giving birth (epidural can give a lot of relief but still one feels so uncomfortable).
We end up happy because when we finally decide to marry someone, our choice can be smarter and less influenced by others. We had life experiences and met people throughout our life that prepared us know what works for us and what does not, and we know the kind of life we want.
Despite all this, I have to disagree with my fellow writer from the Thought Catalogue, who wrote that single girls don’t mind the idea of not getting married. I think we actually do at some point, due to the nature of our societies. It can be hard to be in a relationship with a guy, as an unmarried couple, and in many cases you might not want to have such relationship due to your religious beliefs and traditional perspectives, which are understandable. So, you might end up with emotional deprivation, and let’s not make that happen. Life has lots of beautiful things to offer, where you can Live, Love and Laugh.
Enjoy your single-hood to the max and celebrate it as much as you can. These are good times, and are building stones for happier times to come when you finally decide to be with someone and get married.